The Dangling Conversation

blog fail

2008-10-17T12:13:00.002-04:00

part of the reason I don't write here is that I am OCD about finishing long posts that I started and never finished before I post new stuff. so I think I am going to try to (sort of) finish some old posts and get them out there, in at least some form. then I'm going to try to start using my tumblr more, so check me out over there [http://unpublishedrhyme.tumblr.com/]

most hilarious statement award

2008-09-25T23:18:00.001-04:00

Paul:

i fail at music

Debate Topic

2008-08-25T22:38:00.001-04:00

Time Magazine:

Agricultural policy is not sexy. You probably don't know the intricacies of "loan deficiency payments" or "base acreage," and you probably don't care.

yay

2008-08-22T17:14:00.001-04:00

Listing Detail

Name:	Eli Osterweil Anders
Appointment Title:	Debate Coach
Department:	FAS^FCOL^Clg Lif+Stud Sv-Oth
University Mailing Address:	Harvard College Life & Student Svcs University Hall Harvard Yard Cambridge MA 02138
Unit:	Faculty of Arts and Sciences

whither blogger?

2008-07-25T02:55:00.003-04:00

prompted and prodded by Tripp and Leo, I have started a tumble blog. It's not quite ready for prime time, but I'm going to be trying it out. I think the division of labor will be as follows: journal type stuff here at blogger, sharing type stuff over at tumblr. Anyway, join me if you wish.

best sentence I've read in a while

2008-07-14T23:15:00.007-04:00

"D. had listened to F.'s report and absently ordered a glass of wine, even though it was just eleven o'clock, gulped it down with an equally absent air, ordered a second glass, and remarked that he was still pondering the useless problem of whether the law of identity A = A was correct, since it posited two identical A's, while actually there could only be one A identical with itself, and anyway, applied to reality it was quite meaningless, since there was no self-identical person anywhere, because everyone was subject to time and was therefore, strictly speaking, a different person at every movement, which was why he, D., sometimes had the impression that he was a different person each morning, as if a different self had replaced his previous self and were using his brain and consequently his memory, making him all the more glad that he was a logician, for logic was beyond all reality and removed from every sort of existential mishap, and so he would like to respond to the story she had told him but could only do so in very general terms: good old von Lambert had no doubt experienced a shock, not as a husband, though, but as a psychiatrist whose patient has fled, and now he was turning his human failing into a failure of psychiatry, and the psychiatrist was left standing like a jailer without prisoners, bereft of his subject, and what he was calling his fault was this lack, what he wanted from F. was merely the missing document for his documentation, by trying to know what he could never understand, he was hoping to bring the dead woman back into captivity, and whole thing would be perfect material for a comedy if it didn't contain a problem that had been troubling him, D., for a long time, a logical problem involving a mirror telescope he had installed in his house in the mountains, an unwieldy thing that he occasionally pointed at a cliff from which he was being observed by people with field glasses, with the effect that, as soon as the people observing him through their field glasses realized that he was observing them through his telescope, they would retreat in a hurry, an empirical confirmation, in short, of the logical conclusion that anything observed requires the presence of an observer, who, if he is observed by what he is observing, himself becomes an object of observation, a banal logical interaction, which, however, transposed into reality, had a destabilizing effect, for the people observing him and discovering that he was observing them though a mirror telescope felt caught in the act, and since being caught in the act produces embarrassment and embarrassment frequently leads to aggression, more than one of these people, after retreating in haste, had come back to throw rocks at his house as soon as he had dismantled the telescope, a dialectical process, said D., that was symptomatic of our time, when everyone observed and felt observed by everyone else, so that a very suitable definition of contemporary man might be that he is man under observation - observed by the state, for one, wiht more and more sophisticated methods, while man makes more and more desperate attempts to escape being observed, which in turn renders man increasingly suspect in the eyes of the state and the state even more suspect in the eyes of man; similarly each state observes and feels observed by all the other states and man, on another plane, is busy observing nature as never before, inventing more and more subtle instruments for this purpose, cameras, telescopes, stereoscopes, radio telescopes, X-ray telescopes, microscopes, synchrotrons, satellites, space probes, computers, all designed to coax more and more new observations out of nature, from quasars trillions of light-years away to particles a billionth of a millimeter in diameter to the discovery that electromagnetic rays are nothing but radiant mass and mass is frozen electromagnetic radiation: never before had man observed nature so closely that she stood virtually naked before him, yes, denuded of all her secrets, exploited, her resources squandered, which was why it occasionally seemed to him, D., that nature, for her part, was observing man and becoming aggressive, for what was the pollution of air, earth, and water, what were the dying forests, but a strike, a deliberate refusal to neutralize the poisons, while the new viruses, earthquakes, droughts, floods, hurricanes, volcanic disruptions, et cetera, were precisely aimed defensive measures of observed nature against her observer, much the way D.'s mirror telescope and the rocks that were thrown at his house were measures taken against being observed, or, for that matter, von Lambert's manner of observing his wife and her manner of observing him, in each case a process of objectification pursued to a degree that could only be unbearable to the other, the doctor turning the wife into an object of psychoanalytic scrutiny and she turning him into an object of hate until, struck by the sudden insight that she, the observer, was being observed by the observed, she spontanously threw her red fur coat over her denim suit and fled the vicious circle of mutual observation, and met with her death, but, he added, after suddenly bursting into laughter and becoming serious again, what he was constructing here was of course only one of two possibilities, the other one being the precise opposite of what he had described, for a logical conclusion always depends on the initial situation: if, in his house in the mountains, he was being observed less and less, so rarely that, when to pointed his mirror telescope at people who he presumed were observing him from the cliff, they turned out to be observing not him but something else through their field glasses, chamois or mountain climbers or whatnot, this state of not being observed would begin to torment him after a while, much more than the knowledge of being observed had bothered him earlier, so that he would virtually yearn for those rocks to be thrown at his house, because not being watched would make him feel not worth noticing, not being worth noticing would make him feel disrespected, being disrespected would make him feel insignificant, being insignificant would make him feel meaningless, and, he imagined, the end result might be a hopeless depression, in fact he might even give up his unsucessfull academic career as meaningless, and would have to conclude that other people suffered as much from not being observed as he did, that they, too felt meaningless unless they were being observed, and that this was the reason why they all observed and took snapshots and movies of each other, for fear of experiencing the meaninglessness of their existence in the face of a dispersing universe with billion of Milky Ways like our own, settled with countless of life-bearing but hopelessly remote and therefore isolated planets like our own, a cosmos filled with incessant pulsations of exploding and collapsing suns, leaving no one, except man himself, to pay any attention to man and thereby lend him meaning, for a personal god was no longer possible in the face of such a monstrosity as this universe, a god as world regent and father who keeps an eye on everyone, who counts the hairs on every head, this god was dead because he had become inconceivable, an axiom of faith without any roots in human understanding, only an impersonal god was still conceivable as an abstract principle, as a philosophical-literary construct with which to magically smuggle some kind of meaning into the monstrous whole, vague and vaporous, feeling is all, the name nothing but sound and fury, nebulous glow of heaven locked in the porcelain stove of the heart, but the intellect too, he said, was incapable of coming up with a persuasive illusion of meaning outside of man, for everything that could be thought or done, logic, metaphysics, mathematics, natural law, art, music, poetry, was given its meaning by man, and without man, it sank back into the realm of the unimagined and unconceived and hence into meaninglessness, and a great deal of what was happening today became understandable if one pursued this line of reasoning, man was staggering along in the mad hope of somehow finding someone to be observed by somewhere, by conducting an arms race, for instance, for of course the powers engaged in an arms race were forced to observe one another, which was why they basically hoped to be able to keep up the arms race forever, so that they would have to observe one another forever, since without an arms race, the contending powers would sink into insignificance, but if by some mishap the arms race should set off the nuclear fireworks, which it had been quite capable of accomplishing for some time, it would represent nothing more than a meaningless manifestation of the fact that the earth had once been inhabited, a fireworks without anyone to observe it, unless it were some kind of humanity or similar life-form somewhere near Sirius or elsewhere, without any chance of communicating to the one who so badly desired to be observed (since he would no longer exist) that, in fact, he had been observed, and even the religious and fundamentalism that was breaking out or persisting wherever one looked was an indication that many, indeed most, people could not stand themselves if they were not being observed by someone, and would flee either into the fantasy of a personal god or into an equally metaphysically conceived political party that (or who) would observe them, a condition from which thye in turn woudl derive the right to observe whether the world was heeding the laws of the all-observing god or party - except for the terrorists, their case was a bit more complex, their goal being not an observed but an unobserved child's paradise, but because they experience the world in which they lived as a prison where they were not only unjustly locked up but were left unattended and unobserved in one of the dungeons, they desperately sought to force themselves on the attention of their guards and thus step out of their unobserved condition into the limelight of public notice, which, however, they could achieve only by, paradoxically, drawing back into unobserved obscurity again and again, from the dungeon into the dungeon, unable, ever, to come out and be free, in short, humanity was about to return to its swaddling clothes, fundamentalists, idealists, moralists, and political Christers were doing their utmost to saddle unobserved humanity with the blessings off being observed, and therefore with meaning, for man, in the final analysis, was a pedant who couldn't get by without meaning and was therefore willing to put up with anything except the freedom not to give a damn about meaning - like Tina von Lambert: she, too, had dreamed of drawing upon herself the observing eyes of the world, so perhaps one could read her doubly underlined sentence "I am being observed" as a statement of certainty about the victorious outcome of her enterprise, but, if one accepted this possibility, it would be just the beginining of the actual tragedy, in that her husband did not recognize her flight as an attempt to make others observe her, but, interpreting it as an escape from being observed, failed to undertake an investigation, thus scotching her plans from the outset, and she, upon finding that her disappearance remained unobserved, which is to say, ignored, may have felt impelled to seek out more and more audacious adventures, until, by her death, she achieved the desired end, her picture in all the papers and all the world observing her and giving her the recognition and meaning for which she had yearned."

-Friedrich Durrenmatt. The Assignment, or On the Observing of the Observer of the Observers, (1986), Chapter 5.

Interestingly, I saw this film yesterday:

If the video embed doesnt work try this link.

Bringin it back

2008-07-14T23:09:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted in what feels like forever - I've been busy, traveling, etc. - but mostly because I am OCD about things like this and don't feel like I can post about new things until I've covered all the things I meant to post about previously (this is primarily intended as a journal, and many things have happened that I wanted to document recently.)
Other delays in posting involve considerations over format. Do I want to keep mixing up personal journal type stuff with other posts (quotes, pictures, whatever) that might be better suited to one of the other blogging formats people have been bugging me about (twitter, tumbler, whatever). if someone wants to tell me the merits of why I should switch to one of these, please fill me in. For now, fuck it, I'm gonna try to start posting again.

this is the end

2008-05-25T20:10:00.003-04:00

I can't believe college is over. this is rather depressing. my last week as a student at Harvard....boo.
Anyway, I've been terrible at updating this semester - hopefully a mega update sometime soon

[old post:] banquet

2008-05-12T01:06:00.004-04:00

[This was supposed to go up shortly after May's collegium banquet. Basically, the gist of what I wanted to say:]

Banquet was very special. Of course, what made it so was what people had to say about their experiences in Collegium. Jim's speech was incredibly sweet, both what he said about individual students, and how his love for his students and the music we do was so evident. I hope I'll never forget how wonderful Paul's speech was; despite some of his frustrations with the bureaucracy and obstinacy of Jim and and Collegium, I think he managed to express exactly what's so great about what we all do together, and why music means so much to him and his faith.

I am incredibly glad that I have another year to sing with Collegium - it has been my community for the past four years, and, of course, been an incredible way to help make something larger than myself. I love the inscription that Sametz put on the piece he wrote for Jim: "For my friend Jim, who sees heaven in a major chord." Acheiving perfection the way Collegium sometimes does - those are the moments the likes of which I can barely describe and have never experienced in any other context.

In addition, I cannot imagine what my inner life would be now without the way it's been shaped by the music we sing. Five years ago I knew nothing about early music; now it's basically all I listen to. I cannot overemphasize how important this is to me, nor the role of Collegium, and especially Chamber singers, in bringing it about.

lessons learned?

2008-05-05T01:21:00.002-04:00

writing my last college paper (sniff). being in my room instead of the dhall reminds me of the all-nighters I used to pull freshman year. that feels so long ago, but I also can't believe that I've come all the way through. where did the four years go? evidently not into learning how not to procrastinate...

haven't blogged in a while

2008-04-19T12:39:00.001-04:00

too much to catch up.

however, I can't believe today is my (potentially) last CS semester concert. this is hitting me harder than B minor...

internet addiction

2008-03-12T13:41:00.002-04:00

maybe i have one? sometimes i click on the firefox icon and I don't know why...

webaddiction

2008-03-01T17:45:00.000-05:00

"All big Internet successes—e-mail, AOL chat, Facebook, Gawker, Second Life, YouTube, Daily Kos, World of Warcraft—have a more or less addictive component—they hook you because they are solitary ways to be social: you keep checking in, peeking in, as you would to some noisy party going on downstairs in a house while you're trying to sleep."

blog meme

2008-03-01T12:05:00.004-05:00

blog meme going around:

Instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book (that is at least 123 pages long).
2. Open to p. 123.
3. Go down to the 5th sentence.
4. Type in the following 3 sentences.
5. Tag five people.

Book: New Scotland, New Politics, Paterson et al.
"Do Scottish views about the welfare state provide any clues about how Scots would like to see the powers of the Parliament evolving? Part of the answer to that will be in the party-political conflicts in Scotland. In England, there is no electorally viable party that is significantly to the left of New Labour, and so people who find the government's approach to welfare insufficiently redistributive or insufficiently generous have few options open to them."

Sort of boring, but surprisingly thesis-relevant.

my life, right now

2008-02-17T09:45:00.003-05:00

Kafka:

And in however much of a hurry they all seemed to be as they made their way in our out, with outstretched arms, lowered heads and darting eyes, and luggage held aloft, yet hardly one of them failed to throw a glance in the porter's lodge, for behind its glass panels there were always announcements and messages hanging that were of importance to the guests as well as the hotel staff. In addition, there was direct commerce between the porter's lodge and the lobby, because of the two sliding windows which were manned by two under- porters, who were uninterruptedly engaged in giving out information on all kinds of subjects. These men were really overburdened, and Karl could have sworn that the Head Porter, as he knew him, must have got around doing this job in his past career. These two information dispensers had--you couldn't really get a sense of it from outside-- at least ten inquiring faces in the windows in front of them. These ten questioners, who were continually changing, spoke in a babble of different languages, as though each one of them had been sent from a different country. There were always some asking their questions at the same time, while some others were talking amongst themselves. For the most part , they wanted to collect something from the porter's lodge or leave something there, and you could always see hands waving impatiently out of the mass of people. ... And the two under-porters had to stand up to all this. Mere speaking would not have been enough, they had to babble, and one of them especially, a gloomy man with a beard that surrounded his whole face, gave information without the slightest break. He looked neither at the desk in front of him, where he had various things to do too, nor at the faces of any of his inquisitors, but just in front of him, obviously to save his strength. ... it was confusing, the way one piece of information followed on the heels of another, and merged with it, so that a questioner was often listening with a tense expression on his face in the belief that he was still hearing something intended for himself, only to realize a while later that he had been taken care of already. You also had to get used to the fact that the under-porter never asked for a question to be repeated, even if it was generally comprehensible and only asked in some slightly unclear way, a barely perceptible shake of the head would indicate that he didn't intend to reply to the question, and it was up to the questioner to realize his own shortcoming and reformulate his question some better way. This kept some people eat the counter for a very long time."

[old post] The Clerks Group

2008-02-06T23:42:00.002-05:00

So, one of the coolest things I got to do last year was when CS got to do a masterclass with the Clerks Group. Basically, if you don't know (or aren't obsessed with early music), they are probably the best thing ever. Seriously. [at least if you define "ever" as 15th century choral music. I don't really think that's a stretch; maybe that's just me.] Anyway, getting to hear them sing, interact with them, and having them critique our performance was nothing short of awesome.

Getting to talk to Edward Wickham and listen to him describe the architecture of musical phrases was amazing. Moreover, getting to hear them sing some of my favorite music (Illibata!) 10 feet away was glorious - I could barely process it. I got to come back the next day and sit in on most of their dress rehearsal for the concert I would unfortunately miss (boo HRCM rehearsal!), which was also unbeleivable. The way their voices (Robert McDonald! is he even human?) fill a space is simply unparalled among anything I've heard. Hearing them do piece after piece of my favorite stuff (missa L'homme arme! ave regina caelorum, intemerata!) was unforgettable. And getting to talk to Wikham about Tinctoris and Tom Raskin and Chris Watson about Cambridge (UK) and facscimile sings in the BBC Proms felt a little like getting to talk to rockstars.

Anyway, that was pretty cool. As was their report of the event (wholly accurate) in their subsequent newsletter:

Harvard, Cambridge, is surely one of the most civilised communities in the US. They even have fresh fruit. We're here as the guests of Sean Gallagher, Associate Professor in Music at the faculty, and our collaborator/mentor on the recent Regis recording project. Sean is a charismatic teacher, and his students love 15th century music with a passion. It is very strange to announce to an audience of 18-21 year olds that you are going to sing Josquin's Illibata and be greeted by whoops of joy. Today is Super Tuesday: the day when a dozen or more states vote for their Presidential nominees. In Cambridge at least there is no doubt which side the pancake is buttered: at the last count it was 96% Democrat. The surprise is that, for all Obama's influence here, including support from Edward Kennedy, it is Hillary that they go for. But our young hosts seem more intent on talking about Josquin.

One of my more memorable Harvard experiences...

the queen's musick

2008-01-12T17:10:00.000-05:00

no time for a full update, but we had our winter CS concert last night and it was wonderful. beautiful english gems like Lamentations of Jeremiah, Ye Sacred Muses, O Sacrum Convivium, and Vigilate. I love CS. wish i were going to be there when the music gets incredibly good during the runout to new york. sniff

life

2008-01-06T14:57:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a long and tiring several weeks. Went home for about a week, but spent almost the whole time working on a take home final and my thesis. Oy. I did manage to spend a little time hanging out with friends, who it was great to see. Can't believe it was my last winter break in College. Ack. Anyway, then I was whisked off to the coast, where I spend a ridiculous amount of time debating (20 debates in 7 days). It went really well: we were in quarters of Fullerton, and closed out USC with Tripp and Jonathan, which was incredible. Doing it on New Years eve made it even better. Also, my parents were there to see it happen, which was amazing, and they took us out for an awesome meal at Mimosa. Anyway, we briefly took the lead against Burshteyn by beating him and then winning USC, but lost it again when he won Fullerton - oh well. It's really fun competing against him like this, especially thinking back to when we were freshmen at CPS and still both learning what the hell debate was.
Anyway, got back to Cambridge last night, and could care less about work, but I have infinite things to do. Looking forward to the Chamber Singers concert friday night. Should be fun.

been meaning to blog lately

2007-12-16T17:06:00.000-05:00

buts its been crazy. things going on:
-xmas gigs (delicious)
-concerts - Tallis Scholars last week (amazing!), Uchoir, Bach Soch, and Noam Elkies doing Beethoven Choral Fantasy, Wachet auf, and Mendelssohn 5 (also awesome), Dunster Messiah Sing (fun!), CSA concert this evening....good times
-harvard hall sings...yay! we sang the whole Dufay Missa L'homme arme mass last week - awesome
-marvincue
-started writing thesis
-gov paper
-PBK induction
-debate party (so much yummy greek food!)
-and so forth

have so much work to do over break its not even funny...then the coast. hoping to spend some quality time with friends in the bay anyway. i hope.

lol debate

2007-12-14T00:23:00.000-05:00

the third guy...

the sociological Weltanschauung

2007-12-05T13:08:00.000-05:00

I just turned in my second round of fellowship applications, with an essay focusing mostly on the appeal of the sociological worldview.

Some choice passages from Berger's Invitation to Sociology, which inspired my approach in the essay:

Any intellectual activity derives excitement from the moment it becomes a trail of discovery. In some fields of learning this is the discovery of worlds previously unthought and unthinkable....The excitement of sociology is usually of a different sort. Sometimes, it is true, the sociologists penetrates into worlds that had previously been quite unknown for him....Yet there is another excitement of discovery beckoning in his investigations. It is not the excitement of coming upon the totally unfamiliar, but rather the excitement of finding the familiar becoming transformed in its meaning. The fascination of sociology lies in the fact that its perspective makes us see in a new light the very world in which we have lived all out lives. This also constitutes a transformation of consciousness. Moreoever, this transformation is more relevant existentially than that of many other intellectual disciplines, because it is more difficult to segregate in some special compartment of the mind. The astronomer does not live in the remote galaxies, and the nuclear physicist can, outside his laboratory, eat and laugh and marry and vote without thinking about the insides of the atom. The geologist looks at rocks only at appropriate times, and the linguist speaks English with his life. The sociologist lives in society, on the job and off it. His own life, inevitably, is part of his subject matter.

[continues...]

It can be said that the first wisdom of sociology is this - things are not what they seem. This too is a deceptively simple statement. It ceases to be simple after a while. Social reality turns out to have many layers of meaning. The discovery of each new layer changes the perception of the whole. Anthropologists use the term "culture shock" to describe the impact of a totally different new culture upon a newcomer...The experience of sociological discovery could be described as "culture shock" minus geographical displacement. In other words, the sociologist travels at home - with shocking results.

[continues...]

To be sure, sociology is an individual pastime...But the word "pastime" is weak in describing what we mean. Sociology is more like a passion. The sociological perspective is more like a demon that possesses one, that drives one compellingly, again and again, to the questions that are its own.

a winter's day...

2007-12-03T15:54:00.001-05:00

The snow is beautiful outside. I kind of want to go back out and run around...

i cannot work without a deadline

2007-12-02T23:03:00.001-05:00

and self imposed deadlines aren't working

more pullman

2007-12-02T21:41:00.000-05:00

from Third Way:

Can you elaborate what you mean by the phrase ‘the republic of heaven’, which appears in the last line of The Amber Spyglass?
The kingdom of heaven promised us certain things: it promised us happiness and a sense of purpose and a sense of having a place in the universe, of having a role and a destiny that were noble and splendid; and so we were connected to things. We were not alienated. But now that, for me anyway, the King is dead, I find that I still need these things that heaven promised, and I’m not willing to live without them. I don’t think I will continue to live after I’m dead, so if I am to achieve these things I must try to bring them about – and encourage other people to bring them about – on earth, in a republic in which we are all free and equal – and responsible – citizens.
Now, what does this involve? It involves all the best qualities of things. We mustn’t shut anything out. If the Church has told us, for example, that forgiving our enemies is good, and if that seems to be a good thing to do, we must do it. If, on the other hand, those who struggled against the Church have shown us that free enquiry and unfettered scientific exploration is good – and I believe that they have – then we must hold this up as a good as well.
Whatever we can find that we feel to be good – and not just feel but can see with the accumulated wisdom that we have as we grow up, and read about history and learn from our own experiences and so on – wherever they come from, and whoever taught them in the first place, let’s use them and do whatever we can do to make the world a little bit better.
And this, incidentally, is one of my quarrels with Lewis: the children in the Narnia books who have gone through all these experiences aren’t allowed to stay in the world and make it better for other people – they’re whisked off to heaven. That’s not a Christian attitude.

They spent quite a long time in Narnia, didn’t they, as kings and queens, bringing peace and justice?
Not in this world. They’re still children. They’re off on holiday with their parents and they’re all killed in a train crash. That’s grotesque.

Maybe it’s an artistic flaw…
It’s a bloody great big one.

It seems to satisfy a lot of people.
It disgusted me when I read it.
Lewis is a contradictory sort of character for me. I loathe the Narnia books, and I loathe the so-called space trilogy, because they contain an ugly vision. But when he was talking about writing for children, and about literature in general, Lewis was very, very acute and said some very perceptive and wise things. As a critic… And as a psychologist – The Screwtape Letters, for example, is full of very shrewd stuff about what it’s like to be tempted. I rate him very highly, but I do detest what he was doing in his fiction.

To go back to your republic: a lot of people now don’t want to live in either a kingdom or a republic, but in a kind of moral anarchy. ‘As long as I don’t hurt anyone else,’ they say, ‘you can just leave me alone.’
Yes, well, I’m against that.

But a problem many Christians see in atheism is –
The dogmatic certainty.

I was going to say that its logical conclusion seems to be nihilism.
Can I elucidate my own position as far as atheism is concerned? I don’t know whether I’m an atheist or an agnostic. I’m both, depending on where the standpoint is.
The totality of what I know is no more than the tiniest pinprick of light in an enormous encircling darkness of all the things I don’t know – which includes the number of atoms in the Atlantic Ocean, the thoughts going through the mind of my next-door neighbour at this moment and what is happening two miles above the surface of the planet Mars. In this illimitable darkness there may be God and I don’t know, because I don’t know.
But if we look at this pinprick of light and come closer to it, like a camera zooming in, so that it gradually expands until here we are, sitting in this room, surrounded by all the things we do know – such as what the time is and how to drive to London and all the other things that we know, what we’ve read about history and what we can find out about science – nowhere in this knowledge that’s available to me do I see the slightest evidence for God.
So, within this tiny circle of light I’m a convinced atheist; but when I step back I can see that the totality of what I know is very small compared to the totality of what I don’t know. So, that’s my position.

A lot of people assume from The Amber Spyglass that you must be an atheist.
Well, they can assume what they like. Of course, I don’t say, ‘There is no God.’ I say: ‘There is a God, and here he is dying’ – and this is what I was particularly pleased with, as a result of an act of charity. And he goes ‘with a sigh of the most profound and exhausted relief’.

But God is an impostor –
He’s the first angel –

Who is himself the accidental by-product of a meaningless universe.
It’s not meaningless. It was meaningless before, but it’s not meaningless any more.
This is the mistake Christians make when they say that if you are an atheist you have to be a nihilist and there’s no meaning any more. Well, that’s nonsense, as Mary Malone discovers. Now that I’m conscious, now that I’m responsible, there is a meaning, and it is to make things better and to work for greater good and greater wisdom. That’s my meaning – and it comes from my understanding of my position. It’s not nihilism at all. It’s very far from it.

Throughout His Dark Materials there’s a strong sense of ‘ought’. All the most attractive characters – Lyra and Will, Lee Scoresby, Iorek Byrnison, Mary Malone – are driven in the end by a sense of duty, at least to their loved ones if not to the world. Where in a world without God does that sense of ‘ought’ come from?
I’m amazed by the gall of Christians. You think that nobody can possibly be decent unless they’ve got the idea from God or something. Absolute bloody rubbish! Isn’t it your experience that there are plenty of people in the world who don’t believe who are very good, decent people?

Yes. I’m just curious to know where it comes from.
For goodness’ sake! It comes from ordinary human decency. It comes from accumulated human wisdom – which includes the wisdom of such figures as Jesus Christ. Jesus, like many of the founders of great religions, was a moral genius, and he set out a number of things very clearly in the Gospels which if we all lived by them we’d all do much better. What a pity the Church doesn’t listen to him!

snow on the ground...

2007-12-02T20:06:00.001-05:00

and no work getting done...boo

biden?

2007-12-02T14:55:00.000-05:00

wow... also who is this gravel character?

spot on

2007-12-01T14:28:00.001-05:00

excellent excerpt from an interview w/ Phillipp Pullman:

PTC: A number of commentators have argued that, while your books are critical of Christianity etc., they nevertheless reflect Christian virtues such as love and self-sacrifice. Six years ago, Daniel Moloney wrote in First Things magazine that, "if the Christian myth actually is true, you would expect a gifted storyteller trying to tell a true story to arrive at many Christian conclusions about the nature of the world we see." How do you respond to this sort of analysis -- both as an evaluation of your work (does it carry within itself a latent Christianity?) and for what it says about Christian critics who have tried to engage with your books?

PP: My answer to that would be that I was brought up in the Church of England, and whereas I'm an atheist, I'm certainly a Church of England atheist, and for the matter of that a 1662 Book of Common Prayer atheist. The Church of England is so deeply embedded in my personality and my way of thinking that to remove it would take a surgical operation so radical that I would probably not survive it.

But that doesn't prevent me from pointing out the arrogance that deforms some Christian commentary, and makes it a pleasure to beat it about the head. What on earth gives Christians to right to assume that love and self-sacrifice have to be called Christian virtues? They are virtues, full stop. If there is an exclusively religious sin (not exclusively Christian, but certainly clearly visible among some Christians) it is the claim that all virtue belongs to their sect, all vice to others. It is so clearly wrong, so clearly stupid, so clearly counter-productive, that it leads the unbiased observer to assume that you're not allowed in the religious club unless you leave your intelligence at the door.

.......

PTC: Perhaps what made the virtues seem "Christian" in this case was the narrative form in which they were expressed; Moloney alludes to a parallel between your mythos and the Christian mythos in which the world is held hostage by an evil supernatural entity, and a messiah is needed to conquer the spirits of lust and domination with innocence and humility at great personal cost, etc. "Such a story is not subversive of Christianity, it is almost Christian, even if only implicitly and imperfectly," he writes.

But moving beyond that, Tony Watkins, for one, has raised the point that true virtue doesn't seem possible in a materialist world, because no one truly acts freely; instead, our actions are the end results of various deterministic (and, following quantum physics, random) forces -- our genes and memes, basically. (My phrasing, not Tony's.) It may be wrong to say that virtues belong to a particular religious sect -- and I would agree -- but without some sort of religious basis, there seems to be no particular motivation to be virtuous, nor does it seem possible.

Does looking at it from that angle make any more sense?

PP: Well, I think that's a very bleak and limited view of human possibility. No motivation for virtue if you don't believe in God? What about the joy you feel when a good action of yours brings a happy result for someone else? What about the basic empathy we feel even for creatures who aren't human - a rabbit caught in a trap, a little bird inside the house trying to get out through a closed window, a polar bear drowning in a world where the ice is melting? That's not due to religion: it's due to the fact that we're alive and conscious and able to imagine another's suffering.

As for the existence or otherwise of free will, that is so profound a question that philosophers and scientists have been plumbing it for centuries if not millennia and the answer is still as far off as ever. But the only way we can live, it seems to me, is to believe that our will is free. A sort of psychological confirmation of this (though, like everything else, it may be deceptive) is that good things, or the right things to do, involve more effort than bad things, or the wrong things. We have to struggle against ourselves sometimes, and thus we can 'feel' the existence of free will, even if we can't demonstrate it logically or scientifically.

It's always interesting to see things from another angle, and it's important to be able to. But (a short lesson from film) there may be two or three good angles to shoot from, but there are dozens of bad ones: i.e. camera angles that are 'expressive' of nothing but the director's wish to draw attention to himself rather than the story. The 'best' camera angles are those that show the subject most clearly so that the audience is not distracted from the story. Students and young directors, and bad directors, love the eccentric angles; great directors most of the time go for the plainest and simplest. The plainest and simplest description of the world, for me, and the truest, is that there is no God, but that human beings are capable of great goodness and great wickedness, and we don't need priests or Popes or imams or rabbis to tell us which is which.

Organic Music

2007-11-30T00:01:00.001-05:00

The Vienna Vegetable Orchestra.
watch this clip.

shapin and schaffer

2007-11-29T22:37:00.001-05:00

are badasses. the conclusion to an answer to a criticism of their (awesome) book:

When academics decide to take up the burden of defending Truth or Reason or Good History, the strain often shows in lapses of civility. That, perhaps, is understandable: so it's said, you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs; all's fair in Love and the War Against the Evils of Relativism. Hence the generally abusive tone of many of the essays in A House Built on Sand. Yet taking up that burden also involves accepting responsibility for very high levels of accuracy, coherence, and care. Neither Truth nor Good History can effectively be defended by shoddiness. Pinnick's essay is a miserable performance: shot through with bizarre conflations, suppressions of pertinent quotations, and sophomoric sillinesses. Truth deserves a much better defence.

disconnected updates

2007-11-28T14:30:00.000-05:00

One fellowship app down, (at least) one to go...woot!

There was much sleeping last night. I am still tired.

David [Glass] took us to the best sushi place in Boston last night. It was delicious.

Epistemography is my word of the week.

I just bought clementines at broadway market. They were delicious, I should buy more.

back in cambridge

2007-11-26T14:34:00.001-05:00

feels like home...

another article condemning the "death of classical music" thesis

2007-11-26T00:53:00.000-05:00

not as good as Taruskin's, but Alex Ross' piece on similar themes is pretty good.

"They are making little headway with the unconverted because they have forgotten to define the music as something worth loving. If it is worth loving, it must be great; no more need be said."

"If this be death, the record is skipping. A complete version of the Death of Classical Music Archive would go back to the fourteenth century, when the sensuous melodies of ars nova were thought to signal the end of civilization."

Across the Universe

2007-11-25T03:20:00.000-05:00

So Adam and I just went to see Across the Universe. It was incredibly good. I'm not really sure where to start. While I wouldn't say the plot was incredibly strong, it wasn't really intended to be; the story of the film was strong. The film follows an ensemble of characters, focusing on Jude (from Liverpool - reminding me of the cross-Atlantic interplay of musical influences that gave rise to the Beatles in the first place) and Lucy, to tell the story, emotional more than historical, of the 1960s. The movie touches on a wide variety of issues - race riots, Vietnam, the draft, bohemians in New York, GLBT exclusion, psychedelic drugs - and though it's not really about any of them, it does them justice in passing.

What the movie is about is music. More specifically, the Beatles. Despite the fact that they are not mentioned by name once, and that none of their songs played in the movie is an original recording by them, they utterly dominate every moment of the film. Their music permeates every scene, fills in every nook and cranny, and is the foundation of every emotional moment for two and a half hours. It reminds you how absolutely incredible they were - over the course of dozens of songs, incredibly diverse in character, feeling, and, in this case, the interpretation of the cover used in the movie, they did not have one song that wasn't an incredible classic. Not one. And that's not even considering the many many many songs not used in the movie - almost all of which are incredible as well. It blows my mind how incredibly talented, creative, and inspirational they were - they were literally genre defining artists at the same time as they broke all the conventions of their genre, in a way that I don't think has been seen before or since. It reminds me of Taruskin's article that I posted earlier - whoever thinks that "popular" music lacks complexity, virtue, or high cultural content is a fool. Though the 60s are long gone, the Beatles are still the music of our time. What other group could conceivably have a claim to such universal appeal?

Across the Universe does an incredible job of tapping into this appeal, while reminding us that, even now, 40 years later, we can continue to understand the Beatles' music in new ways. The decision to set the text of most of the songs not as interlude or background but actually as dialogue or communication between the characters and with the audience forces you to engage with the lyrics in new and very concrete ways. For some songs it's not a substantially new reading of the words - All my loving as Jude promising to be true to his girl as he leaves Liverpool (he isn't), or Something as a tortured reflection of the status of a floundering relationship. Other readings are involve new ways of thinking, but are not particularly far fetched - Helter Skelter during Vietnam gunfights, or I am the Walrus (sung by Bono) at a psychedelic party. Others are positively brilliant in their originality - I wanna hold your hand as a ballad of forbidden desire on the part of an Ohio cheerleader who wants to hold the hand of one of her fellow cheerleaders, rather than the football players, Dear Prudence as a loving exhortation for a friend to come out of the closet (both literally and figuratively), and I want you (she's so heavy) as an accompaniment to Uncle Sam ("I want you!") forcing draftees to carry the heavy burden of liberty across Indochina. These moments provoke a smile and a laugh from the viewer, but they are a testament to the incredible power and depth of the Beatles' music and lyrics - music that is so powerful that it can be interpreted in this many ways. This flexibility is not a sign that their music has no inherent content or meaning - rather, it confirms the qualities that make great music great - in Taruskin's words, that it contains an "overflow of uncontainable signification."

I could say more, but I don't think the Beatles need more spokespeople. See the movie; it's great.

neurons firing at unexpected speeds

2007-11-24T20:27:00.000-05:00

way too many things going on intellectually for me to fully account for them here, as I was hoping to. things that are keeping my mind constantly buzzing right now:

-personal statement for Harvard-Cambridge fellowship application

-the sociology of knowledge (I started reading Berger and Luckmann) and the sociology of scientific knowledge in particular (Shapin's class in general is blowing my mind). I really want to read all of this.

-sociology generally. I feel like I sort of missed the boat in Social Studies 10, and I'm frantically trying to swim towards it and get back on. The more I learn, the more I feel like I have to learn infinitely more things. For instance, this afternoon I went with Adam and Grant to Moe's Books on Telegraph (for those of you in Cambridge, this store is approximately Raven Books, but 15 times the size) and left with the following: Durkheim's Rules of Sociological Method, Kant's Prolegamena, Science in Context: Essays in the Sociology of Science, ed. Barnes and Edge, part one of Economy and Society, by Weber, and an Invitation to Sociology, by Berger. argh...so much to read.

-Richard Taruskin's article in the New Republic defending classical music from its devotees. I thought I was going to do a more detailed commentary of the article here, but, a/ it turns out many of my friends have already read it, and b/ nothing I say could possibly do justice to how good and well written this article is. Taruskin reserves real rhetorical flair and intellectual savagery for the music critics that he goes after, and its really a joy to read. Read it.

-paper topics for Shapin's class. I need one.

things are booming and buzzing....

rhetorical flair

2007-11-22T22:22:00.000-05:00

“There is, of course, a final move that the rationalist can make. He can fall back into dogmatism, saying of some selected inference or conclusion or procedure: this just is what it is to be rational, or, this just is a valid inference. It is at this point that the rationalist finally plucks victory out of defeat, for while the relativist can fight Reason, he is helpless against Faith. Just as Faith protects the Holy Trinity, or the Azande oracle, or the ancestral spirits of the Luba, so it can protect Reason. Faith has always been the traditional and most effective defence against relativism. But if at this point the relativist must retire defeated, to gaze from some far hilltop on the celebratory rites of the Cult of Rationalism, he can nevertheless quietly ask himself: what local, contingent causes might account for the remarkable intensity of the Faith in Reason peculiar to the Cult?”

-Barnes and Bloor, “Relativism, Rationalism, and the Sociology of Knowledge.”

“If one may describe Scheler’s method graphically, it is to throw a sizeable sop to the dragon of relativity, but only so as to enter the castle of ontological certitude better.”

-Berger and Luckmann, The Social Construction of Reality.

california bound...

2007-11-21T16:28:00.001-05:00

back to "god's country," as a friend called it...

why is this year so crazy?

more time wasting

2007-11-20T00:18:00.000-05:00

some of my favorite monty python sketches / experimenting embedding videos

Top of the Form

"a monsoon is a wind, and a mongoose isn't"

Self Defense From Fruit

"pointed sticks! oh oh oh we want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks do we? getting all high and mighty eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh?"

Dead Parrot (obligatory)

"it's not dead, it's pining"

World's Funniest Joke

"my dog has no nose." "how does it smell?" "awful!"

Ministry of Silly Walks

"i think with government backing I could make it very silly"

The Spanish Inquisition

"fear, surprise, and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope"

Mattress!

"somebody said mattress to Mr. Lambert!"

this video embedding thing could be devastating

if you want to waste many hours

2007-11-18T21:54:00.001-05:00

http://www.addictinggames.com/theimpossiblequiz.html

im up to number 45

[addendum: also http://www.notdoppler.com/theimpossiblequiz2.php is even crazier. jason and I got to the mid 50s before we gave up in frustration]

yellow

2007-11-18T14:11:00.000-05:00

I'm loving the yellows that the trees are turning right now, everything from light yellow to deep gold. normally all the leaves are gone by now, so this is wonderful

HARVARD 37, YALE 6

2007-11-17T17:41:00.001-05:00

not that I care much...

or went :(

development arrested

2007-11-17T13:37:00.001-05:00

not getting anything done this weekend...oh well...need the time to relax. had a great dinner with my mom last night, and going back to upstairs on the sq tonight, which should be spectacular.

also, i finished watching arrested development...yay. the end of the third season is pretty amazing.

we won wake!

2007-11-14T14:48:00.001-05:00

woohoo! yay

ugh - so tired, gotta get through this midterm tomorrow

i love

2007-11-07T17:19:00.001-05:00

walking through harvard yard in the fall. it's pretty.
why are there so many things to do?

as per below...

2007-11-06T23:46:00.001-05:00

bet on whether the US is going to airstrike Iran...
wheee!

things that are bothering me right now

2007-11-06T23:32:00.001-05:00

-the poor quality of US media
-the poor quality of US political leaders (in both parties) and political discourse, particularly in foreign policy
-the fact that intelligent, well educated youth feel as if we can do nothing to change either of the above
-fascists

hopefully more detailed reflection after wake this weekend

i dont really want to leave cambridge

2007-11-04T17:16:00.002-05:00

what should i do here next year? thoughts?

oh also

2007-11-04T01:22:00.000-04:00

I was really happy with the number of my friends that came to the concert last night...that was really great - you guys rock

yay Harvard Hall sing earlier...

note I just sent to Collegium

2007-11-03T15:37:00.000-04:00

this theme may be getting repetitive, but its important to me

Collegium - you rock my world. All I wanted to do last night was get off stage and cry, the concert was so beautiful. I used to think that Collegium was at its best when doing big orchestral works and that our unaccompanied music was sort of secondary. After Tour and the last few months, I'm convinced that I've never heard anything more beautiful than Collegium on its own, filling a space with incredible sound. Kevin, thank you for putting so much love and emotion into everything you conduct, and thanks to the rest of you too - it would be impossible for us to make such incredibly powerful and spiritual music if each and every one of you didn't invest as much as you do in it. It really shows. What a concert. I'm reminded of something Sean Gallagher once said in Music 1a - " Making music is one of the better ways in which we can be humans." You guys really showed that last night.
Thanks Collegium,
Eli

sion deserta facta est...

2007-11-02T23:06:00.000-04:00

...jerusalem desolata est..

the concert tonight was absolutely gorgeous...I wanted to curl up and cry afterwards, it was so sad. Kevin conducted beautifully...ne irascaris was devastating, the chorale was intensely spiritual, and Chamber singers sounded great. as we got to the intense part of the Turtle Dove, all I could think was, oh no - this may be the last time I sing such music with Collegium, and with Kevin....alas. it was amazing. Oh Collegium...

Fare you well, my dear, I must be gone, and leave you for a while
If I roam away I’ll come back again
Though I roam 10,000 miles, my dear
Though I roam 10,000 miles
So fair thou art, my bonny lass, so deep in love am I
But I never will prove false to the pretty girl I love
Till the stars fall from the sky, my dear
Till the stars fall from the sky
The sea will never run dry my dear, nor the rock ever melt with the son
But I never will prove false to the pretty girl I love
Till all those things be done, my dear
Till all those things be done

off to the PCP...'Profana in the Cabana'

I am incredibly lucky...

2007-11-01T23:03:00.000-04:00

I was thinking tonight during CS rehearsal...wow, I've gotten to spend at least three afternoons a week for the last 3 years, making incredible music with amazingly awesome and talented people. How much luckier could I be?! I can't believe tomorrow starts the countdown to my last Collegium concert...it's almost too scary to contemplate. the upside: its going to be incredible. I can't wait.

wow

2007-10-31T22:45:00.000-04:00

So I just got back from Collegium dress rehearsal for our concert on Friday....wow...we finally brought the Collegium. I was afraid we left it in Australia, but wow...attendance on Friday is imperative. You won't regret it.

We are singing:
1. Haec Dies (Byrd) - ultimate jubilation
2. Ne irascaris domine (Byrd) - ultimate devastation...no really
3. Chamber Singers: Vigilate (Byrd) - so intense. so good
4. Chorale on an old French Hymn (Britten, text by Auden) - intensely spiritual
5. Carol - on a 14th century poem (Britten) - very quirky and spooky
6. My love dwelt in a northern land (Elgar) - very romantic. lost love and so forth..
7. The Turtle Dove (Vaughn Williams) - farewell turtle dove! (i.e. Kevin Leong, sniff...)

It's going to be soo good. wow.
Also, it is a requirement that everyone hears the Cardinall's Musicke recording of above Vigilate and Ne irascaris domine. I think they contracted the Gods of Olympus to sing on their recording. unbelievable. It's on Ruckus.

pretty good debate

2007-10-29T05:37:00.000-04:00

I go back and forth on how much I like Hitchens, but he's good here.

why am I...

2007-10-29T03:22:00.001-04:00

...pulling an all nighter over this stupid assignment? what am i doing? (insert Tripp's Caton impression here)

Summer/Fall roundup

2007-10-21T17:41:00.000-04:00

Well, it turns out I haven't posted much in the last couple months - oops. Anyway, because of my OCD in this regard, I can't post anything new until I've got everything old covered, so in the spirit of keeping a journal, here are some highlights from the last few months that I've been meaning to write about, in roughly chronological order:

1. Time at home after Australia (one day I'll finish my Australia post). This was really great. I got to spend some really quality time with friends and family, spend some good time in Berkeley, etc. The highlight was definitely the time spent up at Sea Ranch with the crew, relaxing, catching up, cooking, drinking, hanging out on the beach, and looking for crab people. It was awesome.

2. Yale Ivy Scholars Program - this was also a lot of fun. Working for NCP was a blast, and the rest of the staff was really awesome too. Rarely have I met a group of people that I hit it off with so quickly. My job was very chill - keeping the office running and teaching a few seminars (I got to teach a seminar on Polanyi! yay, but probably too advanced for the kids). I had a really fun time, and got to go to some really awesome lectures and seminars (D. Kagan, P. Kennedy, C. Hill, JL Gaddis, etc.) Hopefully my schedule will work out so I can work there again next year.

3. Emandal - the major downside this year was that it was short on both ends - I missed my connection on the way home from Yale, so didn't make it up to the farm until Monday afternoon. Add that to the fact that the week ended on Saturday, that was sort of sad. However, it was an incredibly relaxing week, and of course wonderful to catch up with friends and be outside.

4. Debate preseason. This was also a blast - I can't believe it was my last one. We got a lot done, started integrating a gigantic debate team, played some frisbee, and generally had a good time.

5. 21st birthday! This turned into basically a week of festivities during the preseason. First, my parents were here the weekend before my birthday with my grandmother. It was really nice spending some time with them. We also went out to Sandrines, where I had never been, and where we had a delicious meal (I had this awesome gigantic thing with like 12 kinds of pork...mmm). Then, we had a debate team party for Sherry's birthday, with Dallas and Sherry's delicious cooking as usual. The day before my birthday, David took the whole team out to Salts, an amazing restaurant near Central Square, for all the Sept. Birthdays. On my birthday, the team went out to the North End, got some good Italian food, and then I went to Cambridge Common with Kenneally, Kevin, and Tripp. We had a good time. It only sucked to wake up at 7am to move out of Winthrop.

6. The awesome food has only continued as the year has gone on. In addition to multiple yummy meals at Dallas and Sherry's, I've gotten to go to Upstairs on the Square (tomatoes, Halibut), which was superb, the Holly Hill Inn in Kentucky (squash bisque, pork tenderloin, bread pudding), which was delicious and absurdly underpriced, and, perhaps the highlight, Clio, David's favorite restaurant in Boston, where five of us did the 14 course tasting menu. Wow - so good. [Lets see if I can recall them all: *Flavored soda and tiny tacos. *Tomato juice in martini glass with tomato popsicle. *delicious sashimi. *raw sea urchin in the shell on ice under foam. *sea urchin and lobster soup. *fish chowder with truffle and potato soaked in squid ink. *salad of artichoke hearts, chantrelle mushrooms, and goat cheese. *escargot and pork of some sort (the escargot a first for me). *amazing amazing swordfish. *incredible fois gras (also a first for me). *new zealand venison. *cheese. *frozen mulled wine. *delicious chocolate/banana thing. *chocolate nubs.) mmmmmm.....

7. Debate's been going really well so far. We were in the semis of GSU. Took third place at the KY RR, and were top seed at the Clay, I was the second speaker, and we made it to the semis. It was really fun, and I feel like we've never been debating better. This weekend is the Harvard Tournament, should be a good time.

8. CS retreat - Was this weekend. Was a lot of fun and really productive. We're doing really great Elizabethan music (though I can't pretend I don't miss those Franco-Flemish dudes.) Everyone should listen to Vigilate by Byrd and O Sacrum Convivium by Tallis. Gloucester was also really pretty - it was nice to get out of Boston and see the ocean and leafy trees for a bit. Also, our newies are really cool.

9. For that matter, Collegium has been really fun so far too. Kevin, as usual, has picked amazing repertoire (also British). I'm gaining new appreciation for Britten, and of course, Byrd is amazing. Ne irascaris domine is devastatingly awesome. I can't believe we only have a few rehearsals with Kevin left...sniff..I miss tour.

10. Classes are pretty interesting too. By far my favorite is the hilariously named Sociological Topics in the History of Science with Steven Shapin. This class is really fascinating, on the sociology of science and the scientific community, the sociology of scientific knowledge, and so forth. It's also awesome to be in a class with Tripp, Leo and Ralph. heh.

11. Notice thesis and grad apps are not on this list. Uh oh. more angtsy posts to come, I'm sure.

Becker on situational adjustment

2007-10-15T12:05:00.000-04:00

We find a similar change in college students, when we observe them in the Spring of their last college year. They look back over the four years of school and wonder why they have not spent their time better, wonder if college has been what they wanted. This concern reflects their preoccupation, while in school, with the pursuit of values that are valuable primarily within the confines of the collegiate community: grades, office in campus organizations, and the like. (Even though they justify their pursuit of these ends in part on the basis of their utility in the outside world, students are not sure that the pursuit of other ends, less valued on the campus, might not have even more usefulness for the future.) Now that they are leaving for the adult community, in which other things will be valuable, they find it hard to understand their past concerns as they try, retrospectively, to assess the experience they have just been through.

I promise I'll post for real soon.

I havent updated in forever

2007-09-12T00:09:00.000-04:00

2 awesome things:

1. tonight i spent 2 hours singing through the missa malheur me bat with Kevin, Kenneally, and Paul in Harvard Hall. it was spectacularly awesome.

2. my bed is back. hooray!

Hello

2007-07-25T16:19:00.000-04:00

Well I've been holding off posting because I've been writing a big post about Australia, but it's going rather slowly. Hopefully I'll finish it soon (unlike the Emandal post from last summer that never got finished) Anyway, I'm at Yale now, working for NCP and Minh, having a good time working and starting to teach tomorrow. Had an amazing time at Sea Ranch with the boys a couple weeks ago - it was one for the ages.

Anyway, I'm prompted to write today because I read a really interesting post over at Balkinization by Andrew Koppelman that dovetails nicely with my recent reading of Hitchens' God is Not Great. I think it's really good, so I'll repost it:

A noteworthy development in liberal political theory over the past 30 years or so has been the claim, by such distinguished thinkers as John Rawls, Bruce Ackerman, Ronald Dworkin, Thomas Nagel, Amy Gutmann, Dennis Thompson, Stephen Macedo, David Richards, Charles Larmore, Samuel Freeman, Richard Rorty, and Robert Audi, that in a liberal democracy, political discourse must rely on arguments that are not sectarian and can be assessed in terms of commitments that all citizens can share. The obvious target is religiously based political movements, and it is no accident that most of this theorizing was done after the Presidential election of 1980, when the religious right first became a potent force in American politics.

This claim has elicited a bitter response from religious thinkers, who have argued that this deprives politics of important moral resources and denies them the right to state what they believe. This response, which has not slowed the production of these liberal theories of public discourse, gives rise to a puzzle: why did the liberals converge on and keep producing new articulations of a proposal, in the name of social unity and comity, that was so widely received as an insult? How could so many brilliant people have been so rhetorically clumsy?

I suspect that the answer has something to do with norms of civility that developed in the United States throughout the twentieth century. It is now well settled that it is impolite to challenge someone else’s religious beliefs. Religion is private. Even if you think your neighbor believes really stupid stuff, it’s not nice to say so. He can go to his church; you go to yours; don’t bother each other.

This formula works only so long as neither of you offers a religious argument that is supposed to govern something that will affect both of you. Suppose, for example, that you propose that homosexual sex be criminalized because it’s an abomination before God. How am I to respond? If I disagree, my obvious answer is to say that your religious beliefs are wrong. By hypothesis, that is what I really think. But it’s impolite to say that. So I have to twist around to find some way to say that your views ought not to govern political decisions, without having to say that they’re false. These political theorists have been doing the twist.

Their strategy has been a disaster, because it has produced the opposite of what they have hoped. A doctrine grounded in universal respect has left a lot of actual citizens feeling profoundly insulted. This suggests that the norm of politeness needs to be revisited. As soon as A invokes religious reasons for his political position, then it has to be OK for B to challenge those reasons. It may be acrimonious, but at least we’ll be talking about what really divides us (and we’ll avoid the strange theoretical pathologies that have plagued modern liberal theory, though that seems to be a disease mainly confined to the academy). It’s more respectful to just tell each other what we think and talk about it.

In other news; I just got the recording of the CS spring concert. It is unbelievably good.

wow

2007-06-07T19:55:00.000-04:00

Well, I've been hoping to do a more comprehensive post for a while now, but we're OFF to AUSTRALIA tomorrow. I can't believe the trip is finally here. I hope its going to be great.

Anyway, a brief summary of whats been up recently:
-Finals/papers went swimmingly. My best semester ever. Also, got incredibly nice and unexpected feedback from several TFs and professors. I was really touched.
-Finally found a thesis adviser. Ziblatt couldn't do it, but this guy Andrew Martin seems sweet.
-Commencement Choir: was pretty fun, even if i didn't really do much useful the last couple weeks. Got to hang out with Paul and Mike O'Rourke, watch a ton of house, and hear Clinton and Gates speak today.
-Graduation - can't believe that Nikhil, Justin, Alan, and lots of other seniors I know aren't gonna be here anymore. not to mention that we're seniors now. Bah! also, Robin, Grant, Marat, and Adam are graduating/graduated. insane
-weekend in Providence with family was great. it was really fun to see everyone. My extended family is great. So are carousels!

Anyway, these thoughts are really disorganized, because I'm stressed about finishing packing, etc. I guess we're off tomorrow - insane. I may get a chance to post here while traveling, but I also may try to email a massive list of people occasionally with updates. if you want to receive such emails , do let me know. likewise with postcards.

have a great june everyone, and wish me luck down under!

[addendum: forgot to mention that I had coffee with David Meskill, my sophomore Tutor, for the last time before he leaves for Colorado. he was a sweet guy and a good teacher, I'm sad he won't be around]

finally done!

2007-05-28T00:35:00.000-04:00

Finished my last final on Friday. It was a crazy intense reading period/exam period. Things I'll blog about when I get a chance:
-my marathon to finish Belgium paper
-marathon to get through exams/packing.
-free tickets to see the Pergolesi Vespers at BEMF
-this weekend in Providence with my folks and lots of family at my cousin's Bat Mitzvah
-upcoming tour to AUSTRALIA! (excited and nervous).

Anyway, I should sleep now.

debate!

2007-05-12T11:27:00.000-04:00

So sitting here in the office printing makes me think of all the time ive spent down here. I'm kind of sad that we're getting booted from this office. As crummy as it is, its the place where Harvard Debate has always been while I've been here. I got elected captain the other day; has it really been three years already since Dallas first showed me the office and I helped LM unload their tubs from the NDT? Two and a half years since my first preseason? Unbelievable. I only have another year to debate? Frightening...

Chamber Singers!

2007-05-11T22:27:00.000-04:00

So our Spring Concert went really well. Like, maybe the best I've ever heard Chamber Singers, (except maybe at Columbia). It was really sweet. Especially the Ave Christe, the Benedicta es, and L'hertier. Really glorious sounds and brilliant cadences. First Church is like the best place to sing in ever. It's also been really fun singing with Paul this year too. I don't think I'll forget the look of glee on his face as we got to "sic sautavit" and went all out. Luckily we have concerts left on tour! Hooray. just gotta get through all the work first. Awesome

humidity

2007-05-10T23:43:00.001-04:00

humidity reminds me of the summer. the summer reminds me of loneliness and depression. I am getting no work done. hooray

weather

2007-05-09T22:03:00.000-04:00

Well, as much as I like the warmth, I hate East Coast humidity. And its not even humid yet. New Haven this summer is going to be great.

mmmm 15th century

2007-05-08T21:13:00.000-04:00

Well, as much fun as Mahler is (or Tarik O'Regan), there's nothing like getting back to Josquin and Ockeghem to send shivers down my spine, especially in a space as gorgeous as first church. Excited for our concert Friday.

In other news, my day got eaten by rehearsals and other events. Oh well. Also, LaRouchies are dumb.

Ja Auferste'hn!

2007-05-07T22:06:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm clearly not reading about Belgium, so I should update this. Classes are over the semester - most of the papers (except the most important one) are in. I really enjoyed writing the one on Durrenmatt, maybe I'll post it at some point. Now its reading period - time for the pain.

This weekend was Arts First, which, as usual, was awesome. On Friday night we did Mahler 2, with HRO. The orchestra wasn't 100% on, but it was really fun nonetheless, playing to a packed audience, incl. John Lithgow and other cool people. My mom came for the weekend and really enjoyed it. Saturday was the performance fair, and I sang in two concerts at Busch hall, the best place to sing on campus, amidst beautiful Gothic art and in an incredible acoustic. First, Chamber Singers performed the complete Palestrina Mass we've been working on, and it actually sounded really good, which was rewarding and fun. Second, Michael, Morgan, Paul and I did our performance of the Missa Pange Lingua with chant, which turned out really well. We sounded great in Busch, and got a lot of really nice complements. The chant especially sounded really magical. I really love Arts First and all the opportunities to perform - it's great. We spent the rest of the afternoon listening to more concerts: HCE, which was wonderful as usual (I really liked Christ Lag in Todes Banden that Morgan, Alan, and Saee sang); a cool viol consort; a Schubert string quartet in G major that I ended up really liking; and, best of all, the Harvard Monteverdi Consort, featuring James Onstad being an incredible singer (as usual), with staged sword fights and costumes. It was quite an experience. There's so much talent here.

After dinner with my mom and some friends, it was back to Sanders for Mahler 2, take 2. This time I listened with people (including Mike O'Rourke, who is obsessed with Mahler) to the first 2 movements from the dressing rooms, and the orchestra was really on. This remained the case for the rest of the concert - they really nailed it. Now that was a resurrection symphony. We were better than night 1 as well, so all around it was a really incredible concert. The fifth movement is so epic, its unbelievable. I love it; and I'm really glad we got a chance to do it. The party afterwards was pretty fun too, even if I maybe had a little too much beer ;)

Sunday unfortunately, I was pretty grumpy (Arts First over, reading period starting, not enough sleep, too much beer, other lame life shit), which was too bad, but my mom and I spent the day working on mostly logistical stuff, including getting a little preliminary packing done, which was good. Also we ate at Rendang, which is always a winner.

Anyway, now it's reading period, and I have a 30 page paper due in a week and a half, a ten page paper due the day before that, and then three exams. Then its off to Providence for Daniella's Bat Mitzvah, back to Cambridge for the Farewell Concert and Commencement Choir, and then off to Australia. gonna be a crazy month. drop me a line and keep me sane if you get the chance.

Oh and I just got the CD of the new Chanticleer mass today, but I've only heard it once, so I'll hold off judgment for now.

Spring has sprung

2007-04-22T15:31:00.000-04:00

Well its a gorgeous day here in Cambridge, finally, though not as gorgeous as yesterday, when I spend an incredibly pleasant 2 hours sitting by the river reading Kipphardt. The last few days have been hectic but fun - finishing two papers, going to see MacKinnon speak, which was awesome, going to the panel discussion on "What is Context?" which was really interesting, rehearsing the Pange Lingua a little, giving a prefrosh concert last night that went really well, and playing poker with a bunch of CSA guys, which I hadn't done in a while and was also a great time. Now I'm trying to get started on my St. Matthew's Passion paper that's due tomorrow. I'm sitting in a little garden I just remembered about, called Dudley Garden, behind Lamont Library. It's really pretty and quiet. I should probably get to work so that I can stay here as long as possible before my battery dies.

oy gevalt

2007-04-20T05:45:00.001-04:00

5:45 AM! how long since I have last seen thee!

Auferstehn!

2007-04-18T21:30:00.000-04:00

Why is it I feel like Kevin and Michael Barrett are getting us to make so much better music (and with such better pieces) than Jim has all year? Oh wait, I know why...

Mahler 2 is going to be bad-ass. The moment when it resolves to the final "Auferstehn! ja Auferstehn!" is simply glorious.

In other news, have plenty of work, but also tons of interesting things going on. Today I went to see Michael Barrett sing Dowland and contemporaries with a lutenist and someone playing Renaissance traverso. It was pretty sweet, especially his renditions of "Come again" and "Can she excuse my wrongs?"

Tomorrow I'm going to go see Catherine MacKinnon speak about "Women's Status, Men's States" with tripp. Should be good.

Friday I'm going to try to go (if I'm done with papers) to the most insane panel discussion ever on "What is Context: an interdisciplanary approach" or something like that. The Profs speaking include Peter Galison (hist of sci bigshot), Alison Simmons (philosophy bigshot), Peter Gordon (intellectual history bigshot), and Stephen Greenblatt (english superstar). Should be awesome.

crap

2007-04-16T00:00:00.001-04:00

yea....

Good day

2007-04-13T23:39:00.000-04:00

didnt get work done but I did:
-apply for a passport
-get free ice cream
-have dinner with David and my sophomore tutorial
-go to the HCE concert
-discuss causation with Alan
-play warfish with Davy and Sarah

bedtime soon. library tomorrow

Multitasking?

2007-04-11T13:08:00.000-04:00

David Cole is absolutely right - increasingly I'm not paying attention in class because of my laptop use. in fact, I'm in class right now. I'm starting to feel bad about it, but I don't really have the self control to stop...

forgot to mention

2007-04-10T10:31:00.000-04:00

I held part of the uranium core from a Nazi nuclear reactor the other day in class. kinda cool, eh?

fall back, spring ahead

2007-04-10T10:18:00.000-04:00

the fall always seems to much more interesting and exciting than the spring. I guess it's the promise of a new year, and the novelty of fall, as opposed to Boston's interminable transition into spring. Even if it is my busiest time of year, I love November and December. April is just kind of boring.

this weekend:

2007-04-09T00:55:00.000-04:00

almost a complete waste. I'm going to kick myself in a week; in a month even worse.

Good Software Shoutout: Inline Google Player

2007-04-08T19:44:00.000-04:00

This is a greasemonkey script for firefox (which requires you have the greasemonkey firefox add-on installed). Basically, what this does is the following: on any website you view that has a link to an mp3 file, it automatically adds an embedded player to stream the file without downloading it. An excellent way to listen to linked mp3 files without having to download them all. It works so well I forgot I had it installed and just thought people were designing spiffy websites. Great for music blogs.

Install it here: Inline Google Player

troubling, but not surprising

2007-04-08T16:56:00.001-04:00

check out this article in the wash post

NDT pics

2007-04-08T16:30:00.000-04:00

Harvard DZ

Harvard MR

CPS reunion

octafinalists

Harvard debate!

MR again

last several pictures courtesy of louden

real life?

2007-04-08T16:14:00.001-04:00

The post-NDT letdown is always rough. Had a good time at the NDT though. I really like the sense of community that the NDT fosters, though it's always sad to see the seniors go. The week in Dallas was good - a real team effort - though I'm not sure that even the presidential suite compensated for not going outside for about 7 days straight. On the other hand, Stefan should always run the NDT - it was great.

Settling back into school, especially without a real spring break, has been hard. I've been reluctant to do much, and not feeling well, but with important deadlines like thesis topic and adviser looming, I have to get cracking.

I'm trying to think if anything else interesting happened this week, and I can't really think of much. I spent Friday in bed reading plays, which was fun and engaging, trying to come up with a topic for my Einstein paper. I read Der Physiker by Durrenmatt, which I had seen and is really good, as well as Arcadia, by Stoppard. I haven't fully processed it yet, but as with most Stoppard, I really enjoyed it, and was glad that I finally got around to reading it. He's one of the smartest writers around, which I appreciate.

I don't think much else happened this week other than procrastination. I'm listening to Biber's Mystery Sonatas right now in honor of Easter. They're really good.

its not over till its over

2007-04-02T15:49:00.000-04:00

well we lost in octas to Oklahoma. If we had to go down, I'm glad it's to a team I respect a lot and in a debate that was really good. we got some great compliments from the panel after the round. on the other hand, tripp and nikhil upset georgia in the octos, and are debating wayne state now. tripps 1AR was amazing, and nikhil's 2AR sounds great so far. the harvard train keep on chugging....

its been a good year - on the other hand, I'm glad I'll never have to debate about the court again

dada spam?

2007-03-31T21:01:00.000-04:00

so NDT not quite going as planned. not out of the fight yet though. in the meantime, however, I've been reflecting on how much spam sometimes resembles dada poetry. some of it is pretty great. earlier today I got this:

On Monday a group of around 100 pro-Islamic demonstrators displayed what they said were 1 million signatures for a petition demanding that the Haghia Sophia now a museum in Virgil Mcintyre Andy Whitney we Marshall Waller that Salvador Holman come with his Perry Donaldson When we last saw Kirk Cantu it wasn't Sergio Terrell. Then after Marion Morin or Tracy Gillespie got to the Seth Fuentes it was like Kent Tillman So when Terrance Sanfordwas Rene Bentley too we Eduardo Peck Terrence Key and Enrique Salas took a Freddie Rollins with them to the Wade Gamble. We Barbara Smith to Jennifer Johnson the Susan Williams over at the Dorothy Jones Istanbul be declared a mosque and opened to worship for Muslims (Watch protests of popes visit ) The Haghia Sophia was built in the 6th century as a Christian church but was converted to a mosque in 1453 when Islamic armies conquered the city -- then a Christian metropolis called Constantinople CNNs Flavia Taggiasco in Rome Italy and Alessio Vinci in Ankara contributed to this report Copyright 2006 CNN All rights reservedThis material may not be published broadcast rewritten or redistributed Associated Press contributed to this report TAMPA Florida (CNN) -- Eight former employees of the Bay County Sheriffs Office were charged Tuesday with aggravated manslaughter in the death of a 14-year-old at a Florida boot camp for juvenile offenders State Attorney Mark Ober said seven former guards and a nurse are accused of causing the death of Martin Anderson by culpable negligence If convicted each could face up to 30 years in prison Anderson collapsed January 5 at the sheriffs office Boot Camp program in Panama City Florida He had complained of breathing difficulties while running around a track as part of the entry process on his first day at the facility He was taken to a hospital and died early the next day Gov Jeb Bush who ordered the investigation said he was told the arrests were being made and hoped that at the end of the day justice will be served (Watch Bush express his hopes about the case) We also hope that once the process is completed that Martin Lee Andersons family will have the answers to the questions that they legitimately have Bush said Waylon Graham attorney for one of the defendants Charles Helms said he wasnt surprised at the outcome of the probe Its pretty clear that the outside prosecutors succumbed to the pressure from the governor Graham said No doubt It was clear from the beginning what the governor wanted Graham said the charge of aggravated manslaughter of a child would be difficult for prosecutors to prove adding If these men can raise the money to put on a good defense t o hire the right experts they have an excellent chance of being found not guilty Bob Pell an attorney who represents former guard Joseph Walsh Jr told The Associated Press he hadnt heard about charges against his client I didnt anticipate it he told AP I was hoping cooler heads would prevail but we will deal with this as it comes down We understood the political pressure that was brought to bear Benjamin Crump an attorney for Andersons parents was in Panama City with the family Tuesday and didnt immediately return APs call for comment Video: Teen forced to the ground Videotape of the incident showed Anderson being forced to the ground by various methods including knees to the thigh pressure points to his ear and punches to his arms Later another camp staffer hit him from behind lurching his body forward A nurse stood by and on at least one occasion she determined his vital signs were normal An initial autopsy conducted in nearby Panama City showed that Anderson died a natural death caused by complications of sickle cell trait But a second autopsy conducted by pathologist Dr Vernard Adams showed the teen was suffocated by guards who were restraining him To reach his findings Adams studied the video including having it enhanced by engineers at NASA The intake process at the facility is videotaped as a matter of policy Afterward the staff prepared a report detailing the techniques used on Anderson including ammonia capsules under his nose knee strikes a straight arm-bar takedown bending his wrist and pouring water over his head To explain the use of force one staff member wrote I ordered (the) offender to stop resisting and relax his arms Offender refused to comply with those instructions Some experts on juvenile justice call it excessive force But the sheriffs office said Anderson was restrained for being uncooperative After the incident he was taken away on a stretcher and died later that day Andersons family accused the employees of killing the teen and demanded an independent investigation The charging document filed by Ober in Bay County Circuit Court identifies the eight charged as Henry Dickens Charles Enfinger Patrick Garrett Raymond Hauck Charles Helms Jr Henry McFadden Jr Kristin Smith and Joseph Walsh II They are described as being caregivers of Martin Lee Anderson who caused his death Andersons family had accused county and state officials of attempting to cover up what happened but Ober said there is no evidence by any public official or agency to undermine or improperly influence this investigation The boot camp in Bay County was closed in early May 2005 The sheriffs office said the closure had nothing to do with Andersons case but also said the eight people involved in the incident were not offered new jobs Later that month Bush signed the Martin Lee Anderson Act into law with Martins parents present which replaces boot camps with juvenile facilities more focused on education and counseling Copyright 2006 CNN All rights reservedThis material may not be published broadcast rewritten or redistributed Associated Press contributed to this report ANKARA Turkey (CNN) -- Pope Benedict XVI on Tuesday began his visit to Turkey -- his first to a Muslim country -- with a message urging dialogue between Christians and Muslims as he moved to ease anger over his perceived criticism of Islam The best way forward is via authentic dialogue between Christians and Muslims ba sed on truth and inspired by a sincere wish to know one another better respecting di fferences and recognizing what we have in common he said in an address at the Directorate of Religious Affairs Introducing the pope Turkeys chief Islamic cleric Ali Bardakoglu leader of the directorate made an apparent reference to the popes September remarks that linked violence and the Prophet Muhammed The so-called conviction that the sword is used to expand Islam in the world and growing Islamophobia hurts all Muslims Bardakoglu said In his speech Benedict quoted two previous pontiffs including his predecessor Pop e John Paul II who referred to the spiritual bonds between Christianity and Islam in a 1979 speech in Ankara He also quoted Pope Gregory VII an 11th-century pontiff who talked about the charity that Christians and Muslims owe each other because we believe in one God albeit in a different manner On his arrival at Ankara airport for a four-day visit the pope told Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan: I really wanted to come to Turkey because Turkey has become a bridge between the religions I want to reiterate the solidarity between the cultures the pope said This is our duty

neat, huh?

eve of the storm

2007-03-29T22:51:00.000-04:00

NDT the third starts tomorrow... feeling a little nervous, but also relatively prepared. here goes nothing.

California

2007-03-26T03:18:00.000-04:00

trips home are invariably way too short. Some highlights and pictures.

A really pleasant walk with my parents in the Berkeley hills:

I always knock heads with them when I come home but it's great too see them:

A couple of delicious meals, at Fillipo's for Italian on Friday, and at A Cote tonight with Lois, whom it was also great to see. Mom also cooked some delicious tuna last night.

Looking through old piano scores, recorder music, and Boys Chorus music with my mom, including a book of Dowland aires that my old recorder teacher gave me in 7th grade.

A really pleasant afternoon with Grant and Marat in Berkeley. It's great to see those guys - no matter how much we're apart, I'm glad that our group remains so tight. We had a great time eating, walking, eating, walking, drinking, and eating, as usual. Some of our better moments:

Hilarity in the Cal eucalyptus grove

what is next to this Ferrari?

thats right.

DANGEROUS LIQUIDS!!

You'd better have a pass for that liquid air, Grant

Oh, Telegraph Ave.

only downside of the afternoon is that they carded me at Raleigh's for the first time.

Oh, also, we just watched the Lion in Winter. Peter O'Toole and Katherine Hepburn are giants. what a great movie.

Anyway, tomorrow is dentist, lunch with Lexy, Nick, and Mike, some last debate work, etc. Then it's off to the NDT. I should get some sleep tonight.

no more midterms!

2007-03-22T15:16:00.001-04:00

It's beautiful in Cambridge today! Here we go...it's going to be an interesting week. Next update from Cali.

Good Software Shoutout: Stickes

2007-03-19T21:23:00.000-04:00

New feature! "Good Software Shoutouts." In the spirit of Lifehacker and all the time I waste trying out cool software on the interweb, I'll try to occasionally post links here to the pieces of software I've found most useful. I may include web applications as well, we'll see.

First: Stickies!

Stickies is pretty useful software for leaving notes on your desktop (assuming you don't already use a mac). You can do cool things too like customize colors, link stickies to certain applications, sleep stickies for a certain amount of time, and alarm stickies. Overall, very useful.

so much to do

2007-03-19T20:27:00.001-04:00

Gonna skip 24 for the first time in a while. totally lame

Things discovered while procrastinating today

2007-03-18T23:06:00.000-04:00

I'm really good at procrastinating (no news to me or anyone else). But today I did discover some cool things browsing the inter-web.

For instance, I had a great time checking out the website of Lame Duck Books, a rare books store a few blocks from my dorm that I've always wanted to go check out and now really want to go visit. If you're into that sort of thing, check out the catalog on their website. They have some pretty amazing stuff there, mostly first editions and inscribed copies, of things like Paradise Lost, Leviathan, The Wasteland, The Unvanquished, the Brothers Karamazov, etc. My friend Dan purchased John Rawls' copy of Nietzsche there (I think the Will to Power), with all of his notes and stuff in it. The coolest thing in their catalog however: handwritten working manuscripts of three stories by Borges, including "The Library of Babel" and "Pierre Menard, author of the Quixote." Asking price: about 500 grand each. Pretty absurdly cool. I haven't read Borges in a while - I should get back to that.

Useless

2007-03-18T22:39:00.000-04:00

Feeling better, but I've been totally useless today, which makes me pretty screwed for this week (Phil 8 paper and Einstein midterm).

Concert was great on Friday - a lot of fun. I was able to sing despite illness. It was fun to see a bunch of alumni at the concert and last night's banquet. Collegium truly is a wonderful community of kindred spirits. I still remember the chills I got hearing the first peel-off in auditions my freshman year. It's important not to let that sense of amazement and wonder drift away as the years pass and as I've become used to the group. I don't think I'm going to have a better musical experience in my life than this one. Thinking back on all the concerts we've done really blows me away. I had no idea what I was getting into freshman year. That I've gotten a chance to do magical things like the Vespers and Messiah with such a talented group makes me feel blessed. I'm excited for tour, and hopefully for Bach next year. I'm also excited Kevin is taking over this week. I love Jim, but 10 straight concerts or so has been a little much.

Going home in 4 days...NDT in 12 days. I am not nearly as on top of things as I thought I was a few days ago.

Concert tonight!

2007-03-16T11:59:00.000-04:00

Hope my voice recovers enough to sing and Collegium recovers from this bow tie controversy. It should be a fun evening though. Some of the music we're doing is pretty great, even if all of it (cough, cough Bach) isn't entirely ready to go. CS sounded pretty good last night too, which is nice. Hopefully we can avoid a repeat of last fall's interesting rendition of Musae Iovis.
Oy, snow is not helping with sickness.
On the other hand, the paper I thought was due monday is actually not due until next Friday. Woo!

boo sickness

2007-03-15T17:07:00.000-04:00

I've been lying in bed for the last four hours... At least it's a good excuse not to go to class. Won't get me out of rehearsal though.

california dreaming

2007-03-14T23:30:00.000-04:00

Going home in a week - hooray!
Meanwhile, this concert on Friday is going to be interesting. I love Jim, but I'm really glad we're going to get a break from him for a while; the last month or two have really been too much.
Alright, time for a good nights sleep.

smile?

2007-03-13T22:07:00.000-04:00

hmm I think I chipped a tooth on a fork at dinner. that's too bad.

in hyrdraulis

2007-03-12T16:10:00.001-04:00

yay for writing about CS pieces on midterms. fun fun

addendum

2007-03-12T01:16:00.000-04:00

As I'm studying my Music 1A notes for the midterm tomorrow, I came across a quote from Prof. Gallagher that illustrates pretty succinctly what I was trying to say earlier in my post about the concert:

"We can do amazing things with just human voices and dots on paper. Making music is one of the better ways in which we can be humans."

long overdue

2007-03-11T23:50:00.000-04:00

I've been busy and not particularly into writing recently. This is compounded by my obsessive compulsive need to post about everything I've skipped before I can write about anything new, at least partially because I view this as a journal for myself to keep track of what I've been up to. I've given up on actually covering in depth anything I missed in the past couple months, but for the sake of consistency, here is a sort of bullet point summary of what I've been up to that I don't think I've written about.

The End of December
The end of December was pretty crazy, with tons of fun Christmas gigs and great food at the faculty club. I always enjoy these Collegium lunches, and all the conversations that go with them. I had a good time when my parents and aunt visited as well. I sang in a bunch of concerts, including our performance of Bach's Magnificat, which was awesome. The following week was the CS concert, which went really well. There were too many long flights in December - back and forth to California, to LA, etc. I was getting pretty tired of them.

Winter Break
It was great to see friends and such over break. I think I already wrote about most of this. The last couple days at home were pretty cool too. There were a couple of CPS alumni events, including a debate reunion/dedication for the new Julia Burke debate center. It was really nice to see the team's new space, as well as get a sense of history of the team seeing so many generations of debaters gathered together. It was nice to be back at CPS, but also it made me miss my time there a little. Even in the rain that campus is gorgeous. That night there was also a reunion at Pyramid - nice to see some other CPS folks there. Before I left for the coast I hung out with friends some more, went bowling, and prepared to leave home again, this time for a while.

January
The Coast was pretty fun. Quarters at USC was pretty good, and i got my first real college speaker award. We were a little more disappointed by our finish at Fullerton (octos), but it was a fun week to spend with the team nonetheless. Getting back to school was a little intense. I had about a week to write a 30 page paper for Glyn Morgan on a topic I had barely started researching and for which the only instructions I had were "don't be boring!" It turned out well, but left me rather crunched to study for exams in time. No disasters however.

Then I headed to New York for about a week and had a great time. Paul and I went to see the Hilliard Ensemble perform, which was really fun because they are incredibly talented, but also a little disappointing because they obviously rely on their skill and don't prepare enough. I went down and had a great time visiting Grant at Princeton and talking about music and stuff, checking out the beautiful campus, etc. I also got to see Ilya and Jillian, which was sweet. Then I got to spend an afternoon with my Aunt and Uncle from New Jersey, which was really nice. Getting back to New York, I got to spend a bunch of time with David and Sarah, which was really wonderful, and explore a little, including going to law school with Davey, seeing the Cathedral of St. John the Divine, and checking out the Cloisters, which is a fantastic museum of medieval art and architecture in uptown Manhattan. Then CS tour started, which was really pretty fun. The highlights for me were definitely singing in St. Patrick's Cathedral, a glorious space, and giving a really well attended and really great concert at Columbia. Our performance of Gombert's Musae Iovis was perhaps the best I've ever heard CS sound. One of those moments where everyone becomes involved in a simultaneous enterprise of impassioned music-making. It was really fun. I then got way too drunk with David and Sarah and Grant, but it was a great time nonetheless.

Second Semester
The start of the semester was pretty crazy. We had Northwestern, were we got to octos, which was cool, and the HS tournament, which was insane as ever, but went incredibly smoothly this year. It was nice to hang out with EYC, as well as Horowitz and his girlfriend, who were around a lot. I have a great story from the HS tournament, but that will have to wait for another night. I also picked classes around this time, ending up in 5 (!) which so far are pretty sweet: my tutorial, the New Politics of Europe; The Einstein Revolution; Knowledge of Language; Intro to Early Modern Philosophy; and Music 1a (Chant to Mozart), which is basically the best class ever (heh - the midterm for that class is in 14 hours, I should probably study a little more rather than writing here!).

Other randomness:
-I threw a little party for the debate team a couple weeks ago - that was fun. We should do more stuff as a team, since we are pretty awesome.
-Had an interesting incident last weekend at the RCS/HGC Faure concert, where we had to call 911 for a friend that fainted, seemingly from an allergic reaction. A bit scary
-Collegium went to Providence for an American Music festival. Kinda fun, but I'm glad it's finally over. I did get to see Andrea and the family though, as well as Jessie, which was fun. I can't believe she's moving to Cali. so strange.
-Sherry and Dallas threw an amazing post HS tournament party this week. Imagine a four course meal with easily 4 dishes at each course. simply incredible.

All in all, it's been a pretty crazy couple of months. On the horizon: midterms, picking a thesis topic, the NDT, spring break, Arts First. phew.

[update: ooh! another cool thing - I'm excited to be singing parts of the Missa Pange Lingua with Paul, Morgan, and Mike Kenneally for Arts First. its going to be awesome!]

Ockeghem/Perotin

2007-03-11T18:28:00.000-04:00

Blue Heron just gave one of the most glorious concerts I've seen in a long time. Probably the best concert of late medieval or early renaissance music I've ever heard (Paul and I agreed that they put the Hilliard Ensemble concert we saw last month in New York to shame). After a pre-concert talk by the infamous Tom Kelly, Blue Heron performed selections from Ockeghem, one of my favorites, and Perotin, whose early polyphony is incredibly strange but also incredibly haunting. Several pieces in particular stood out for me. This chanson by Ockeghem for three voices, Presque transi, was absolutely gorgeous, and perfectly captured the sonority I associate with Ockeghem. I'm usually not that interested in text, but the text of this piece was, if incredibly sorrowful, nonetheless incredibly moving, and perfectly captured by the setting and the singers' affect:

On the verge of death, a little less than dead,
living in sorrow without any comfort:
one can see that I am in the bonds of Fortune,
who without cease treats me worse than any other
and wars against me harder and harder.

Alas! against my will I remain alive,
and there is nothing I long for so much
as to see my end very near.

Die I cannot, and yet always I seek it,
and it is high time that I turn away from everything
in order to be free of pain

It seems to me that Death does me wrong
when otherwise she makes no effort
to relieve me of my wearisome life,
fore I languish without any joy whatsoever
because of the unhappiness that devours and gnaws at me.

It's always surprising to me how much of early and medieval music has texts that are so sad and forlorn. I suppose it was not always a happy time. But listening to this chanson, with its incredibly moving sound, I was forced to reflect on how sadness can sometimes be a beautiful thing, a moving thing, that gives all the more meaning to happiness by contrast. Clearly Ockeghem was not suicidal, but he was obviously drawn to texts like this one, despite its depressing attitude, for the sheer quantity of emotion it contains. I think this is the reason that sad music is almost invariably more interesting than "happy" music.

The excerpts that were performed from Ockeghem's Missa Mi-Mi were also fantastic, especially a countertenor/bass duet in the Agnus Dei. Of the Perotin, my favorite piece was his well-known Viderunt omnes, which they performed in a circle, with a seemingly endless, droning chant. Hearing Perotin performed is so unusual and frankly amazing; a recording studio can't really do him justice. The acoustics in First Church are really fabulous. It is mind-blowing to think what Viderunt must have sounded like in the 13th century in Notre Dame Cathedral, simply unbelievable.

I found myself in an unusually peaceful and reflective state during this concert, whether it was due to the glorious music, my tiredness, or my Robitussin-induced stupor. I found myself almost in a trance, with the music filling almost my whole consciousness. However, two things kept running through my head over and over again. First, human kind has reached no greater achievement than the development of music. Second, this kind of music in particular simply begs that you devote your life to it and is worth every moment of that devotion. I have experienced no greater wonders and mysteries than those like the ones I experienced this afternoon, as the gleam of the setting sun illuminated a vaulted space, already illuminated to the fullest by the shimmering rays of musical sonority.

I don't update

2007-02-16T14:49:00.001-05:00

eve of the HS tournament. tally-ho

finally

2007-02-14T12:15:00.000-05:00

its snowing. a lot

ruckus

2007-02-06T00:44:00.001-05:00

www.ruckus.com

everyone who likes music should know about this.